People always tell you that when you fall in love, ‘you just know.’ As a kid I always wondered how that could be possible. You can’t know something you’ve never felt. And I never understood why no one would ever tell me what it felt like to be in love. Do you get butterflies? Does the world really stop, and do the birds sing?
I believe there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with them, and I think I loved you the moment I saw you. But falling in love with you? That’s been a learning experience.
I don’t know when it actually happened. Was it so slow I didn’t notice, or did I just ignore the signs? But there we were, sitting in a dark corner of my favorite book store. And you were reading and we were laughing and for a moment I realized I never wanted that second to end. I wanted to freeze time and I wanted to watch you laugh forever. I suddenly wanted you to know what I wasn’t sure of myself.
I think the reason nobody ever tells you what being in love feels like is because no one knows. Love isn’t some set definitive, you can’t pull it out of the dictionary and expect it to apply to you. And I think I realize that now. Nobody ever tells you, because it’s always changing and evolving. I’ll never love you the same as I do this instant, because we’re constantly changing as people. Different days and thoughts and interactions with our environments.
Some days my love for you makes me want to sing from rooftops, and smell the roses. And some days I just want to sit in comfortable silence with you. And some days I want to flick you off, because you’re a huge, adorable jerk and I hate you.
What I’m beginning to realize though, is that love doesn’t feel like anything, because love isn’t a thing. It’s a person.
I don’t think I ever fell in love with you. I think love walked right into the room, offered his hand and asked me to dance.
Daydreaming about Bali breaks ahead @alexeijoel #butfirstexams (at Bali Indonesia)